Gents, forum member Ryan Smith here. I’m so glad I found the site. I’ve been to Saigon several times and I can honestly say it is an American working Joe’s paradise. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading all of Skin’s stories. I’ve had so many very similar experiences, I about pissed my pants reading half of his stories. So fucking funny and also so accurate on the behaviors of these hot chicks here in Saigon.
I have a theory on why this place is so great (not like any of you really give a shit, but I’m gonna say it anyway). The girls are so perfect, and shit is so cheap for one very obvious reason. There are virtually no fucking douche bag Americans or Europeans here to fuck things up. Everywhere the American fatty tourists go shit nearly doubles in price and the locals become all needy and greedy. I say this as a red-blooded midwestern American guy, because it’s the fucking truth.
Anyway, enough with that rant. I have several stories much like Skin’s (that is why they’re so fucking hilarious to me), but I don’t have quite the writing capabilities he does so mine would seem a bit boring in comparison. Although at some point I might give it a shot.
Currently, I’m going to be headed to Saigon this coming Tet holiday (Vietnamese new year) and I’m going to be proposing to this hot, sweet little good girl that I met on my last trip. She’s a perfect angel and it’s time for me to settle my ass down. 2+ years of this mongering has finally pinned me into the point of submission. Which is good for you fuckers, for multiple reasons. One, less pussy on the streets of Saigon that I haven’t blown out with my overly sized American meat stick. And two, I’m going to share with you all of my knowledge. The places to go and where not to go….The keys to the kingdom.
Unlike skins, I don’t live in Saigon, so I didn’t have the luxury of time when it came to pulling tail. Therefore careful planning was required in order for me to get my mission accomplished. I would say I follow a similar play book as he does, only mine is much more condensed. Again for the sake of time.
How To Meet Women in Saigon – Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Step 1: On-line game…. Skins is spot on with this. That is, if you want to hook up with good girls. I would highly recommend using Vietnam Cupid as he mentions, or tinder is now widely being used in Vietnam as well. About 2 to 3 weeks prior to your trip, more time if you have time to invest, start connecting with Hotties online. Start slow with the conversation. No talking about sex, sending dick pics, or any of that shit. That shit doesn’t work here, fucking trust me. These girls put up with enough bullshit from these Vietnamese dudes so be a gentleman.
Once you’ve built a good rapport with these little hotties set up time with them once you arrive. Make sure you schedule your shit good and put it in your calendar. Once you get to Vietnam you’re gonna want to party your ass off get drunk and you may forget what time you’re meeting which chick. Make sure you keep that shit straight so you can make the most of your time.
When you set up dates with them, you don’t need to take them to some fancy ass restaurant like you do with American bitches. Just take them to some normal restaurant that’s not gonna cost you an arm and a leg. The fact that you’re just taking them out is good enough for them.
Be careful on date number one. If you move too fast you’re going to turn these hotties off and they’re not gonna want to fuck you. Most of the time I just write off the first date as I’m not gonna get laid. Usually I try to double stack dates on the day I arrive that way I’ll be getting more pussy come day two, date three and so forth.
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If not getting laid on date one discourages you, then you’re fucking idiot, why? Because there’s plenty of other ways to get your nut, as Skins so eloquently mentions in his fantastic posts. Which leads me to step 2.
Hot Tocs, Blow Job Bars and Massage in Saigon – Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Step 2: Hot Tocs and Massage joints…. out of all the pleasantries in Saigon the one thing I appreciate more than all is the hot toc. Now, there are several versions of the hot toc that you need to be aware of. There’s the high-end one with smoking hot girls that will end up giving you a blowjob. There are ones with hot to average looking girls that will give you a fantastic hour massage wash your hair, give you a shave, clean out your nose and ears and shit (This one is my favorite) and then there’s the dirty ass ones that are run by dudes that will just give you a shave, haircut and other crap you don’t want. You can usually tell by just looking in the window which one of these three I’m talking about.
The blowjob type will be obvious. There will be a bunch of hot skank‘s sitting around on their cell phones waiting for customers to come in. You won’t see really anybody sitting in any of the chairs because most of the time the customers are in the back getting their rocks off in some little skanks throat. The second type will be obvious when you look through the window. You’ll see a bunch of dudes getting a shave, hair washed their toenails trimmed, etc. and the third type will have no chicks in there, so you will know to avoid it.
I usually get my daily hot toc right after lunch. It is a good way to freshen up and get ready for the day. Plus it will only set you back between $15 and $40. Depending upon the level of service you’re looking for. You’ll feel like a million bucks when it’s done. Money well spent.
After lunch, i usually hit the hotel pool. While at the pool and catching some rays this is a good time to check up on all the little hotties you been chatting with online. As Skins mentions, and if you have time to do this it’s also good idea to hit up the coffee shops and other gathering places. These are perfect places to pick up some good girls that are just out and about. I have pulled several of these types. Just get their number start chatting with them and in a day or two you should be getting your fuck on.
Again, and I can’t stress this enough to you fuckers. Be confident, but don’t be aggressive with these girls. That’s a complete turn off for them. They get intimidated by that shit. Ok, I digress. After you lined some shit up for later in the night with the hotties you been chatting with, or ones you’ve just randomly met since you’ve been there, I would suggest you go crank the AC in your room and take a nice one to two hour nap. Get your ass up around five or six PM, and throw on some shorts and a T-shirt. Now it’s time for the best fucking massage you’ve ever had your life. I’ve been to dozens of massage parlors in Saigon, and I have the best ones in town on speed dial. Hit me up and I’ll get you the location.
These places truly are the unique hidden gem of Saigon. I mean, not too many other places in the world can you get a one to two hour massage, steam, hot tub, shower and then insanely good handjob by a 19-year-old smokeshow then in Saigon, Vietnam. Keep in mind, you can feel their tits, finger their tight hairy clam a bit, grab her perky ass and all that shit while they’re stroking your flesh helmet. For the bargain price of $20-40. Insane!
Almost forgot to mention, if you really like the girl that gave you a massage, don’t forget to write down her number. Not her phone number necessarily, each one of these chicks working at the massage parlor are given a number like 23, or 46. Shit like that… make sure you take note of it if you want a return visit. They usually give a little bit more of a discount to return customers.
After your nice fulfilling massage and busting your nut all over some hotties hand. She will kindly wash you off and send you on your way. It’s now time to hit the town. Step #3
Step 3. Hit the town!…. so, at this point in the day I usually schedule dinner with one of the little hotties that I’ve been chatting with online. Prior to scheduling the dinner with her, and this is very important, I always find out if they need to return home that night or not. The way to find this out, without fucking it up, because if you just flat out ask them, of course most of the good girls going to tell you that have to be home. You want to very casually during the course of your earlier texts and conversations, figure out if they live with their parents. A lot of these 20 and even 30 something year-old hotties will live with their parents. It’s customary in Vietnam.
If this is the case you almost stand no chance of her spending the night with you. But that’s OK, and here’s why. It’s a total set up job on your behalf. You take her out to dinner on this night. If she wants to meet again, you have her over to your hotel the next night to watch movies (aka fuck her tight little asian love tunnel). It works like a charm every time, trust me. Oh, important point!! Don’t forget LUBE! These chick’s pussies are tight. As skins mentioned a few times, a lot of times it’s painful for them. I don’t enjoy fucking a girl while she’s in pain. Therefore I usually lube up the tip of my oversized American rod and slowly slide it in.
The other absolutely fantastic part about the curfew thing is that they normally need to be home by 11 or midnight. Just in time for you to hit the bars and pick up some bar sluts. Which leads me to Step 4. The bar scene.
Best Clubs and Nightlife in Saigon – Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Step 4… the Bar scene…. The fantastic thing about Saigon is that it has a pretty good variety of bars and clubs. They have everything from the Joe-six pack sports bar, to some swanky Miami style night club. There are also establishments called beer clubs here. They are fairly common across all of Asia.
If you’re a newbie, or a first timer to Saigon, then I would highly suggest you visit Bui Vien street. It’s like the Bourbon Street of Asia. Hookers walking around everywhere. Good girls out with their friends enjoying a beer before their curfew. Tons of tourists walking around hammered and high looking for either a fight or some pussy. Street performers blowing fire, and doing weird shit. Little kids rapping on the street karaoke style. My suggestion would be to just grab a beer at one of the shit hole bars along the main strip sit back and do some people watching. This normally leads to a good night, because eventually you’re going to strike up a conversation with some locals, Or see some drunk ass people walking by that strike up a conversation with you. Who knows what can happen after that. If you do get bored, duck into one of them several skanky night clubs that are on the strip.
Although beer is a little bit more expensive inside, ($4 vs $1.50) They normally don’t have a cover charge. It is loud as fuck in there, so it’s hard to have a conversation. But sometimes you’ll get some drunk as hell good girls in there looking to hook up.
The one annoying thing I will warn you about is all the scumbag backpackers in this area. They are usually just poor degenerate European or Australian fucks staggering around like drunken zombies thinking they own the joint. Most of them have their fat, tattooed, heavily pierced white beasts with them, so they are no threat to your game. Just ignore those fuckers and try to have a good time.
Outside of Bui Vien street there are several options. I won’t go into them all.. I’ll just give you my quick opinion. One thing I forgot to mention, it helps your game big time if you have a wing man. Just like the US most of these hotties travel in packs. You don’t want to be that creepy single dude rolling up on a group of girls with your boner sticking out of your pants. Fucking weird no matter what country you’re in.
Better yet, if you’re able to link up with the local dude, they are the best wing men out there. Why? It’s obvious, they speak the language. Get them on your side and you’ll have no issue getting laid. Just make sure you can shake them at the end of the night so they don’t follow you and your girl back to the hotel. I had that shit happened to me one time it was fucking weird.
Night Clubs: Lush and New DC Club are my favorites but there are tons. Just google them and read the reviews. Prepare to spend some cash however, these places will set you back about 100 bucks for the night. There is some high-end snatch in there though, so may be well worth it. Usually not my scene however because I’m a cheap motherfucker.
Roof Top Bars: These are probably my favorite. I love the atmosphere. Saigon cools down quite a bit at night, so you’re not sweating like a stuck pig. These places are normally affordable as well and there’s usually some hot snatch loitering about. Beware there are a lot of hookers in these joints, they’re not always easy to spot. So be sure you understand what the girl is looking for so that you don’t waste your time if you’re not willing to pay.
A Few Options: Chill Sky Bar, Saigon Saigon Bar, and the bar at top of Sunland Riverside Hotel ( forgot the name).
Note: All of my recommendations are in District 1. This is the place to be. Venture outside District 1 and you’re rolling the dice.
Sports Bars: If you’re tired of chasing pussy and just want to chill and have a brew and watch some football, you can hit up a few places. Blanch’s Tash is decent. Also you might want to check out the Seventeen Saloon Bar. Hot ass waitresses, and this crazy good Filipino rock band performs all night. Expensive as shit though so bring some Dong with you.
Step 5.. Night cap…. If by this time in the night you still haven’t landed any action, fear not. There are plenty of brothels in District One. Just Google search best brothels in District one Saigon. I’ve read the most highly searched sites on this topic, and they are fairly accurate. Go with their recommendation regarding how much you should pay. Also remember the massage parlors stay open until 5 AM, so you can always go back there for repeat tug.
Well, that’s all I got for now. Hit me up if you’d like to know the names of some other places. I hope some of that shit was helpful. If anything remember this, be polite, be confident (not a douche) and be careful.