Last night I met a beautiful young lady. My god she was perfect… Tall, slim, gorgeous face, perfect smile. She was smart and classy. Spoke perfect English too! And… I didn’t get her number. FUCK! I blew it. I will give you some pointers so you don’t make this same mistake.
Before You Ask For a Girls Phone Number
First of all, you need to build some kind of connection with a girl before asking for her number. Never just spot a cute girl from across the room, approach her cold and ask for her number. This comes off as weird, creepy and desperate! Even if she is attracted to you, she will want to know you before feeling comfortable enough to exchange numbers.
My buddy used this “shotgun approach” one night which was pretty hilarious. When the club closed he walked through the crowd outside holding his iPhone in his hand. He just asked any cute girl he saw for her number. This was just a drunken experiment and we all had a good laugh watching the show. He actually DID get several numbers this way, but I would never recommend trying it.
The reason is, any girl who hands out her number that quickly will be a low quality prospect. Meaning, she probably gives her number out to so many guys, she won’t even remember who you are when you text her. If you build a connection with a girl before getting her number, she is much more likely to remember you and respond to your text.
You have to remember something about girls. The majority are flaky creatures. A sexy girl has PLENTY of options and guys hit on them constantly. They are rarely concerned about responding to some strangers text messages when she has dozens of guys trying to sweet talk her daily. You need to set yourself apart from the crowd!
When I say “make a connection” with the girl first, I don’t mean exchange life stories and dreams for the future… Just a light hearted conversation is fine. Your goal here is to create comfort with her and come off as a relaxed, fun guy that she would enjoy spending time with. You don’t have to go all the way into the seduction phase here or even ask her out on a date.
I won’t go too in depth about the initial approach and pick up lines here… This post is just about getting her phone number, but subscribe for more dating advice because I have a lot of great stuff on the way.
Try to bond with her over a common interest. If you are clubbing, you can tell her about an awesome party you were at last night. Or ask if she went to that big concert last week. If you are at the gym, ask her if she is running in the local marathon next month. If you are at a restaurant, ask her if she can cook. Tell her you took a Thai cooking class when you were traveling in Chiang Mai.
You are engaging in an interesting conversation about her interests, but also showing how fun and interesting your life is. Learn how to read body language. If she looks like she is not having fun, or she wants to leave then back off! Remember, you can’t win every time.
But if she is smiling and enjoying the conversation, then casually pull out your phone and say, what’s your phone number, I would like to text you sometime. Be sure to make this a natural part of the conversation. Don’t stop at an awkward pause and say…. Soooo can I have your phone number?
Depending on what country you are in, people use different chat applications and ways of staying connected. Instead of her phone number, I usually ask for her Line ID, Viber, Email, etc. I greatly prefer to use a chat application over a phone number or facebook… But I will go into details about that at a later date.
Get Her Phone Number Early in The Conversation!
OK this is where I fucked up last night… I didn’t follow my own rule! Be sure to ask the girl for her phone number as soon as possible. If you see an opening to ask for it, then ASK!
This has been my downfall many times and last night was a prime example. I have been seeing this girl around for several weeks. She always hangs with the same group of people and she has a boyfriend… When I saw her at the bar alone I started to chat with her. Turns out she’s really sweet and we hit it off. She said she just recently broke up with her man and she’s now single!
We were alone and having a great conversation for several minutes and I did not ask for her number… In my head I thought. OK I’ll ask later, what’s the rush?
Well, all of the sudden her pack of ten friends showed up and sat at the bar with us. Her friends started talking her ear off. Then people started talking with me. Some of the guys there were her EX boyfriends friends… Long story short, my perfect opportunity to ask was over.
She was surrounded by friends now. We were all in a big group and I did not want to awkwardly stop the conversation to ask for her phone number. I let it go…
This is the main lesson here. Never think to yourself, OK I’ll ask for her number later. Later might mean never! Anything can happen and if you see an opportunity then you need to ACT NOW! That goes for anything in life.
Asking for a girls phone number in front of her friends is OK. However, when you are dealing with conservative girls in foreign cultures they are often concerned with their image. In this example the people were all Vietnamese and this is not a bar girl…
Even if she likes me, she might feel strange about giving some foreigner her number with everyone looking. You just have to go with your gut in these scenarios. I decided the time wasn’t right.
If you can’t get the number early, don’t worry! I often ask for a girls number as a close to a conversation. Mostly out of necessity because I need to go! After a quick chat I will say, “hey I’m sorry I have to go. I would like to continue this conversation another time. What’s your number so I can text you later.”
Often being busy is a good thing. Even if I’m staying at a bar I will say, “OK nice talking with you, but I need to get back over to my friends now. First let’s exchange numbers real quick.”
It just depends on what you want to do. Maybe tell her, “Oh sorry I’d love to stay and chat but I am going to read books to the blind kids at an orphanage. Let’s chat on facebook later.” 🙂 Just get creative with it.
The last bit of advice is to just be bold. Really, if you like a girl just ask her out! What’s the worst that can happen? She will say NO… And, who cares? You will find another one. There is PLENTY of sexy young ass running around on this planet. Don’t get all hung up on one chick.
I know how it is… Back when I was living in America, I used to run game on a chick and get emotionally invested. I always wanted to get everything right and when it didn’t work out I would get very disappointed. I always worked hard and took it personal when I failed.
Now that I’ve been in Asia for over a year my life has changed… I really don’t give a fuck what happens. If I like a girl I walk right up to her and start a conversation. If she’s not into me I walk away and find another one. I never give it a second thought. Diving into these situations without caring about the outcome has helped my game tremendously!
Instead of psyching myself up and approaching some hot chick like a scared rabbit, I just calmly walk up to any group of girls and start a conversation. I usually get welcoming smiles and interest from the group.
When you stop caring so much about the outcome you can relax and enjoy the interaction instead of contemplating your next move or “game.” If you are nervous that means you are thinking about yourself… Stop that shit. Relax your mind and go with the flow. This is not a life or death situation here.
Hope this info helps. All too often guys leave the club and they are kicking themselves in the ass for not asking for that hot girls phone number. You just need to have the balls to approach and seize the opportunity if it’s there.
Often guys fail to follow through and actually ASK for the number! That’s the worst feeling… Trust me I know, it happened last night!
Things were going great with this girl and I’m 100% sure I would have got her number if I asked earlier! Oh well, I know where she hangs out. I’m going back tonight and I will get her number. It’s not over until I win!