What’s up Guys!
It’s official. I got “the snip.” I finally had my vasectomy procedure in Bangkok. I just wanted to give my readers a quick update. I know many of you were following my journey from decision to incision. 😀
Leading up to the surgery I was fuckin terrified… When I first started looking into getting a vasectomy I could only read for a few minutes at a time because I would start to feel nauseous… Dead serious, I made sure to only research this stuff at home because I always felt like I was going to puke or pass out when reading about the procedure haha!
Over time I got over this but I still had extreme anxiety for multiple reasons.
1. I have sensitive balls. I don’t like any rough action going on down there. Licking and light petting only ladies.
2. I don’t trust Thai people. No disrespect to the Thais, but I’d rather have this done in my home country where there is no language barrier and no “mai bpen rai” attitude about life.
3. I hate hospitals, doctors offices, dentists, germs, blood or anything to do with sick people. I feel queasy just visiting loved ones in the hospital.
But my biggest fear of all is having a bastard child. I don’t want any kids but I certainly don’t want to have one with some dirty whore after I popped a condom. I’ve seen too many guys get trapped and I refuse to be one of them! Therefore my fear of having a child outweighed my fear of getting a vasectomy. I did some thorough research and made my decision.
I flew from Saigon to Bangkok a few weeks ago. Once I got settled in I walked over to the PDA clinic on Sukhumvit Soi 12 next to the famous Cabbages and Condoms Restaurant. Once I reached the second floor I was greeted by an extremely pleasant staff of smiling nurses.
I was nervous as fuck and these ladies quickly put me at ease. They spoke perfect English and were some of the nicest Thai people I’ve ever dealt with. Finally I got to chat with the main lady in charge there and I told her I wanted to get a vasectomy.
Here’s where my problems began… Her smile quickly disappeared and she said “Oh no you are too young!”
“What? I’m 30 and I’m married!” I quickly blurted out.
“How many babies do you have?”
“I have one daughter,” I responded.
Maybe I should have thought this lie through a bit more before going in there. She said I need to have at least two kids and still I’m too young. The doctors wont do it. I told the nurse to please ask the doctor and she said she would try.
I came back a few days later and she said no doctor there will do the procedure for me. FUCK!!! 🙁 I still don’t know if she even asked the doctor or if she made that decision on her own… The PDA clinic seems like a nice place and they offer a vasectomy for FREE but unfortunately they are a bit strict about who they allow in.
Lesson learned: If you are young and childless, you may have a problem finding a doctor to do the vasectomy procedure for you. They prefer to see people at least 35 years old, happily married with at least two kids. They also thought it was strange my “wife” wasn’t with me. They even said to bring her and we can talk to the doctor together. I’m assuming for counseling? I thought about paying a bar girl to go with me but in the end I gave up on that clinic.
There is no law or age limit when it comes to getting a vasectomy but every doctor is different. Some countries are more conservative and in Thailand, family is extremely important to people. If you don’t want kids you are considered strange… I wish they counseled people BEFORE they had kids! That seems like a better idea to me but what do I know.
Your options are simple. Either find a doctor and convince him you are not crazy for never wanting kids or…. You can lie. I went with the second option.
Vasectomy Doctors in Bangkok, Thailand
Next stop was Bumrungrad Hospital. This place has a reputation of being one the best hospitals in the region and I believe it. The place is huge and very nice inside. The staff is professional and speaks perfect English.
It appears everyone in the middle east flies to Bangkok to visit Bumrungrad. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… Just my observation. Everything is written in Arabic and Whites are out numbered by Arabs 10 to 1.
I went to the urology clinic and talked to the receptionist. She made me an appointment for 4:00PM the next day… Then she said, “but I don’t know, maybe later.”
Hmm OK. May I ask, how much does this procedure cost?
“Uhhh not sure na. Maybe 25,000 baht.”
OK so maybe 4:00PM and maybe 25,000 baht… This is how things work in Thailand.
The doctor was an experienced urologist who seemed somewhat annoyed with my questions… Didn’t give me a good vibe at all. Every time I would ask something he would laugh and say “Don’t worry! Very easy! Just cut the vas and burn the lumen! You read too much about this!”
Listen Doc, I know it’s a simple procedure for you… But it’s a traumatic life changing experience for me so just smile and answer my fuckin questions OK?!! It’s moments like these when I want to catch the next flight back to America where there are professionals ready to answer all of my questions and concerns. But I digress…
He asked me how many kids I had. I told him I’m married with two kids. He never brought it up again. Then he said OK you want to do it now? The room is open. This caught me off guard and I hesitated before saying “uhh sure. ok.”
I was led back to the waiting area while they prepared the room. The nurse sat down next to me with a clip board holding various paperwork to sign. She said, “OK the doctor is going to perform a Vasectomy. Please read this and sign the form.”
Then that’s when it happened… I started sweating… I felt sick to my stomach… My hands were shaking… I said, “I’m sorry can you give me five minutes?” She smiled and said take your time.
After a few moments I approached the nurse and told her I would call to reschedule. I bitched out! 🙁 I left the hospital mad at myself and doubting the whole thing. For the next day I was thinking “FUCK THIS! I will just wear condoms. I can save that money!” I was trying to talk myself out of it….
Luckily I snapped out of that and made an appointment a few days later. My original doctor had left BKK for the week so I saw another doctor. This guy was funny and much more friendly. I felt much more comfortable around this new doctor. We had a nice short chat and he said OK do you want to do it now or another day? I said LET’S DO THIS! The anticipation was killing me and I wanted it over already.
The Vasectomy Procedure – Warning Graphic Shit
I walked into a small office with a table in the middle of the room. The nurse told me to take off my pants. As I was stripping down several other cute young nurses walked in… If I wasn’t trembling in fear I would have popped a boner for sure! I got a thing for nurses. 😉
I laid down on the table and they started wiping my balls down with some type of cleansing liquid. It felt cold and there were bright lights in my eyes. Panic was starting to set in… There’s no turning back now!
The doctor walked in as the nurses were covering me with a thin sheet that covered everything but my ball sack. The doctor and nurses all started screaming at each other in Thai and it made me more nervous… Fuck I wish I was in America for this…
Doc said OK you will feel a little pain as he stuck a needle into my right vas deferens. FUCK! I experienced a jolt of pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life! Felt like someone was popping my right nut like a zit. 🙁 My whole body tensed up and the nurses said WHOAHHH as they made sure I didn’t jump off the table. Thank god that only lasted half a second.
After that my sack felt a warm rush and went completely numb. The doctor along with the nurse worked quickly and I only felt some minor discomfort. I had the feeling of squeezing and tugging on my nuts and into my lower abdomen. No pain, just a strange feeling that I never want to experience again.
It’s hard to lay back and relax when strangers are tugging on your balls. Every instinct in your body is telling you to kick them off you and run like hell! 🙂 But I laid back with my eyes shut and imagined I was on the beach in Ko Samui…
Then about 15 minutes later the Doctor said OK finished! You can sit up and have a look! My sack looked surprisingly normal. He used the “No Scalpel Vasectomy” method which only puts one small puncture in the center of your sack. Supposedly this leads to less complications then making two incisions to access the vas deferens.
The doctor showed me two small pieces of vas deferens that he cut out… I wish he didn’t show me that damn it. Then he walked away and I never saw him again.
The nurse cleaned me up and placed a small bandage on my sack. I thanked her and slapped her on the ass. OK no I didn’t… But I wanted to, she was fine. 😉 They led me back to the reception area where I sat down in front of a room full of people with a traumatized look on my face.
I was expecting a wheel chair? Maybe some good drugs for the pain? NOPE. Just handed me the bill and said thank you goodbye! I quickly paid and limped outside to catch a taxi.
Overall I’d say things went smooth. It’s now the day after the sugery and I have no swelling or bruising. I’m just laying around in bed putting ice on my nuts. I am wearing two pairs of boxer briefs pulled up tight so they are supporting the boys. When I pull them down to piss, my balls drop and they feel a bit sore.
I actually woke up with a raging hard on which made me happy things still work but it also concerned me I would injure something. I quickly threw ice on it to calm down the beast. Fuck man one week without busting a nut is going to be tough…
So that’s my story. Pretty standard stuff but I hope it was helpful to anyone thinking about getting a vasectomy. If you have any questions at all feel free to leave me a comment or email me. I know I did A LOT of research prior to getting the surgery and I had a lot of great readers who exchanged emails with me. This really put my mind at ease so a special thank you to all you guys!
Here’s My Advice
If you are SURE you never want kids, I think a vasectomy is a great choice. If you are not sure, then wait a while. Or you could bank sperm. It’s about $1,000 to bank ten viles and then it costs about $500 per year to maintain. That’s Bangkok prices so check your city for current pricing. I decided against this but it’s a good option if you have any doubt whatsoever.
Unless you live in some 3rd world hell hole, I recommend you get this procedure done in your home country. Medical care is good in Thailand but dealing with a doctor that speaks your language will reduce your anxiety during the procedure. Just my take on it.
Now I’m looking forward to a speedy recovery and a long healthy life full of stress free sex! Sex is one of the greatest parts of life. Unfortunately, there is always an element of anxiety for me when it comes to sex. I’m always concerned I’m going to get a girl pregnant. Even if she takes the pill you can’t really trust that 100%!
Why Get a Vasectomy?
You already know I don’t want kids… But why go as far as getting surgery on my nut sack? Aren’t there less extreme options?
My ex was on birth control but she would always ask me when I wanted to have a baby… She used to say she likes my facial features and wanted a baby that looked like me… Scary stuff! What if she decided to “forget” a pill here and there. Then I’m stuck with a baby!
You can’t give women the power to change your life like that. As Men, we are responsible for our own actions. If you bare back and bust inside of a girl, guess what? She might get pregnant. Then you have to deal with it like a Man. I prefer to take control of my future and not be at the mercy of someone else’s decisions.
For the last few girlfriends I was using the “pull out method.” This is bad on so many levels… First of all it requires a Man to have ninja like reflexes to be affective. Some nights after heavy drinking I would pull out and then wonder… Did I time that right? Some nights I would blast a full load into my girls pussy and make her take the morning after pill.
This is totally irresponsible and a recipe for disaster. It was only a matter of time before I had a little Skins junior running around Thailand. I was always worried about getting that text saying “I think I’m pregnant.” It was time to man up and take action!
Now just because I got snipped doesn’t mean I’m going to bare back every slut on Sukhumvit Road. Condoms suck but they are a necessary evil. I will always have some on hand for whore mongering and random one night stands… Still need to be safe and avoid STDs!
But if I’m dating a good girl then you better believe I’m fuckin raw dog baby! Life is too damn short to have sex with some rubber wrapped around my cock. There’s nothing in this world better then fucking some tight Asian pussy bare back. Anyone who’s had sex bare back for any long period of time knows that it’s difficult to go back to condoms… It’s just not the same anymore.
That’s my story. I’ll keep you updated on my recovery. Any questions let me know!