Hola borrachos! It’s the Brockstar here. This is a guide to MONGERING, not working/living, in Tijuana, Mexico. I’m ‘Merican and spent all of my life living in the great state of California. I lived in Hollywood for 12 years before I finally decided to move to Asia and was a frequent visitor to TJ. In fact, I actually miss the place even though I live in Bangkok and have Pattaya only two hours away.
I credit Tijuana with showing me how great life for a man can be. Tijuana opened my eyes to a world where men came first; where I didn’t have to dress up in some monkey suit, wait in a long line, only to pay a $15-20 cover charge to get into a club, the whole time watching as the meathead door guys immediately waved women in for free. A world where strip clubs have no cover charge, you can touch the women and the only lap dances that take place are performed are over a lady drink. That’s Tijuana, baby! If you are reading this and living West of the Mississippi, you absolutely owe it to yourself to give Tijuana a visit.
I first went to TJ in 1999. At the time I was still in university and living in the Bay Area. One of my roommates had just joined the Marines as a reserve and had to do his basic training in Southern California. While on leave he and his fellow jarheads went to TJ. My roommate, who is still in the Marines and now OPENLY GAY (as in queer, not happy), told me and my other roommates about this place South of the border where hookers were $20 and the bars never closed.
I had never fucked a hooker or left the USA, but I dunno, something about $20 hookers intrigued me. That first visit turned into bi-annual visits and from there into frequent visits once I moved to L.A. in 01’. Now here I am living the Land of Smiles.
Tijuana is a city that sits on the Mexico-California border. It’s about 120 miles South of Los Angeles, about a two-hour drive. You can even take a Greyhound bus from L.A., which will take about three and a half hours, but it is quite cheap. Tijuana is only about 15 miles from San Diego and you can take the trolley, which takes about 45 minutes, from Downtown San Diego right to the border itself!
The only thing that has really changed about the monger scene in Tijuana from 1999 to November 2013 (the last time I visited) is crossing the border. Back when I first went to TiJuana you only needed a State issued ID to get back into the US. So back then Tijuana wasn’t only a monger town, it was also a place for college students in San Diego (that were under 21) to go party. Then in 2008 you had to have a US passport or passport card to come back. As you know, us ‘Mericans typically don’t have passports so tourism dropped SIGNIFICANTLY. More snapper for me, is what I say to that! 😀
There are two party areas of TJ and are within walking distance of one another….hell, they are within walking distance of the border too!
Revolucion – Tijuana, Mexico
Revolucion is the main nightlife strip/drag that is in no way, shape or from what is used to be since the passport rule. It’s easy to tell where the strip begins because there is an arch tower over a small town square. Here you will find some hotels, pharmacies, Mexican dudes offering to take a pic of you with their Donkey, restaurants, discos, bars and even strip clubs.
These days the college students are nowhere to be seen and Mexicans are the primary clientel. You will not find any hookers in the discos here and speaking Spanish will be extremely helpful if you are hoping to hook up. For a first timer, I would suggest staying at one the hotels along the strip unless you plan on staying at one of the hotels above one of the big Zona Norte strip clubs.
The strip clubs on Revolucion, although still way better than American strip clubs, are a bit tamer than the ones in ZONA NORTE. There are a few and all of them will have touts trying to get you in. They are worth a visit, because the girls do get naked and the beers are little cheaper. The girls will freak you over a lady drink and are typically pleasant to sit with. Their ability to speak English will vary from almost fluent to non-existent.
Zona Norte – Tijuana, Mexico
Zona Norte is just East of Revolucion and is the red light district of Tijuana. You will find strip club/brothels/hotels, massage parlors, LOTS of streetwalkers and plenty of taco carts. This is where it all goes down. It’s a whole lot of action stuffed into a small area so it’s easy to walk from place to place. The other great thing about Zona Norte is that never closes. No matter what time of the day there will be streetwalkers hanging about at the very least. There are a few shabby little hotels in this area too, but I wouldn’t recommend staying there if you’re new.
So here’s the breakdown of Zona Norte. You have 4 LARGE strip clubs that cater to gringos. Here’s the names and my reviews of each one.
Adelitas, Chicago, Hong Kong and Tropical. Theses clubs are awesome, I could easily spend a year on house arrest in anyone of them! The basic layout is a stage for the strippers and on the floor dozens of ladies in every shape and size you could imagine. Chicago is by far the slowest in terms of customers, but there are plenty of ladies there. Adelitas and Hong Kong are technically open 24/7, but you wont find any ladies in there from breakfast time til’ about noon. Tropical doesn’t open until the early evening.
All of these strip clubs have a hotel upstairs that caters to gringos. Some rooms are more expensive than others. The biggest benefit to getting a room at one of these hotels is that you’re in the belly of the beast and you wont have to pay the room fee if you decide to take a girl from the strip club below. If you want to stay in Zona Norte and aren’t a seasoned pro, I would suggest staying at one of these hotels. Otherwise stay on Revolucion.
Now onto the snapper! The strippers are naked, and will sometimes do lesbian shows that involve things like dildos and shaving cream and slipping them a dollar gets you all hands access. I’ve shoved a dollar bill up a few snappers in my day 😉 Unlike Thailand there are no Coyote dancers in these joints. ALL of the ladies you come across are available.
I would suggest buying her a lady drink to see how she responds to your wandering hands. Lady drinks are $7-8 and your beer will be $4-5. The price for poon ranges anywhere from $50-70, plus another $10-12 for the room…..UNLESS you are already staying at the hotel above. It would be advisable to negotiate what you want from the get go.
Here’s how I’d rank the following strip clubs.
1. Hong Kong (It really is Heaven); It’s the biggest and has the most women with a stripping stage at both ends of the club. It’s the NEWEST of the big four so all the booths, tables, shitters are in great shape.
2. Adelita’s; It’s right next door to Hong Kong, same high end quality, but not as many women simply because it’s not as big. Trust me, in saying that you WILL find yourself in both!
3. Tropical; Its still cool, but its not open during the day like HK and Adelita’s are.
4. Chicago; It has the least amount of women and probably the lowest quality (top to bottom). You will find some lookers in here though, so its certainly worth going inside.
In Zona Norte you also have local joints, ones that cater to the Mexicans. I like going into these bars, because it really does have anything goes atmosphere. I posted pics on the forums once of a little stripper that I actually took inside the bar, no one gave a shit either. Being that these places aren’t gringo-oriented they are MUCH cheaper. The ladies in these places typically won’t speak much English, if any, but have no problem sitting with you.
I will be frank in saying that the quality is seriously hit or miss. Some of the women you see in these places will be fat with c-section scars and others will VERY doable. You should be able to nail one of these chicks for $40. I’ve never actually taken one during her shift, but have met up with a few (after their bar closed) and went back to my room for all night action.
The biggest steal in Zona Norte are the streetwalkers. My first trip to TJ the asking price was 200 pesos or $20 (USD). In 2016 the asking price is STILL 200 pesos or $20 (USD). USE MEXICAN PESOS!!!! 200 pesos is about $11 and change. There was a time when the exchange rate about roughly 10-1, but that hasn’t been for a while.
You will find streetwalkers; OK they really just stand there, all over Zona Norte. They come in all shapes and sizes. The level of talent is not on par with the big four strip clubs, but it’s certainly worth 200 pesos! Same deal here as with the strippers, negotiate everything you want upfront. The standard is a covered bj and they normally don’t take off all of their clothes. So tell them, no condom for bj and no clothes. All of these ladies work in cahoots with short time hotels. So you will have to pay $6 for a dumpy little room to nail these chicks. Personally, over a weekend, I’d probably nail 4 or 5 streetwalkers and 1, maybe 2 strippers.
Once you cross over to the Mexican side of the border there will be an area full of taxis. Everything is well organized, similar to how you wait your turn for a taxi at the airport. Once you get in the taxi just say anyone of the big four strip clubs or Revolucion (depending where you want to stay), simple as that. You can walk to Zona Norte and Revolucion from the border, but ALWAYS take a taxi at night.