Gather around gentlemen… Today I’m going to tell you a scary story. This story begins in Bangkok, Thailand. The year was 2014. I was staying in the Grand President Hotel on Sukhumvit Soi 11. This was my first full year in Thailand and I was living the high life. Partying every night. Blowing money like a maniac. Fucking a different whore or two every day. Ahhh those were good times.

One day I was taking a shower and I noticed a small zit (so I thought) on my lower abdomen. It was about half way between my groin and my belly button. Around that spot where your belly hair turns into your pubes.

I thought nothing of it. I just popped it and continued my shower. I noticed it started bleeding a lot… I found it odd that a tiny little zit would bleed so much, but whatever. It stopped bleeding shortly after and was completely healed within a few days.

Fast forward a few weeks and I was in Saigon, Vietnam on a visa run. One morning I noticed that little “pimple” was back… In the same spot… Along with about 20 OTHER “pimples.” WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! I thought.

It was a cluster of about 12 little white zits on my lower abdomen, right around my belt line. It was obvious this wasn’t a pimple… Something was up. I thought maybe a heat rash or something? It was right on my belt line so I figured the wet sweaty fabric of my underwear was giving me a rash.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases in South East Asia

I jumped online and started googling the symptoms. It wasn’t long before I found what I was looking for and I self diagnosed my problem.

Molescum Contagium

Molescum Contagium is a skin virus most commonly caught by young kids. I guess kids are grubby little fuckers always playing in the dirt and touching each other so they spread this shit.

However, it says in adults it’s almost ALWAYS caught through sexual contact. Shit… My first STD. 🙁

It must have been some Thai freelancer. I was banging my way through all the Club Climax freelancers that year so one of them must have left me a little gift. Oh well… The good news is, it’s pretty much harmless.

The virus is in the white pus inside the “zits.” So if you eliminate that, then you get rid of it. But it’s HIGHLY contagious so you have to be very carful about removing it.

Carving Warts Off My Groin – Warning. It’s Gross.

I went to the pharmacy and gathered my supplies. Safety pins, rubber gloves, rubbing alcohol, tissues. I went back to my room, turned on all the lights and prepared my little surgical station. Then I got to work.

One by one, carefully poked open all the little zits and cleaned out the puss. It was tedious, but I got it done. I then washed everything with alcohol and showered. I carefully disposed of the trash and made sure not to touch anything. Door handles, sink handle, etc.

I was left with a bunch of red marks which looked like popped zits. Within several days they were all healing and that was it. It was gone. 🙂

Well that was pretty gross and scary but it went away easy enough. I’m glad I took action right away. I read online about people trying creams, oils and other shit… Some even say to wait and it will go away on its own in 6-9 months… 6-9 months?!?! Fuck that shit.

I needed to get that shit gone ASAP and keep on living. So I dug those little zits out and it healed up quick. If you ever catch this shit, then I recommend removing the warts ASAP. Be careful. Be clean about it and wash up thoroughly. Because if you pop one of these things and touch your skin somewhere else then it can spread.

OK sorry for the disgusting post. 🙁 But apparently this mollescum contagium is extremely common. I was surprised to read that because I never heard of it before I got it. Suddenly I was reading everything I could find about the topic.

I hope you guys don’t get this shit. But if you do, remember it’s not a big deal. Yes it qualifies as an STD but you can get it from any kind of skin to skin contact. And it’s easy to cure.

Another day in paradise…