I recently read an interesting book called The Five Love Languages. It’s about some basic psychology in relationships. It’s a quick read and I think everyone, both men and women, would benefit from reading it.
We all know men and women often want different things in relationships. But this book really shed some light on the topic for me. The author is saying that all people receive love in different ways. There are five different love languages and they are:
1. Words of affirmation. “Honey I love you. You are so beautiful. Your hair looks really nice tonight. Your body looks amazing in that dress. You are the love of my life. Etc.” Some people need to hear these kinds of sweet words to feel loved.
2. Quality time. Some people crave spending quality time together. If you don’t spend enough time with them, they won’t feel loved.
3. Receiving gifts. Some people see gift giving as a sign of love and appreciation.
4. Acts of service. Cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, washing the car, giving a massage, etc.
5. Physical touch. This could mean holding hands, hugging, a gentle touch on the arm or a good hard fucking.
The book goes deeper into these but in summary, the key to having a strong relationship is finding out how your partner receives love. Everyone is different.
For example, I like physical touch (surprise) and acts of service.
If a girl comes to my home and cooks me dinner, cleans my room, gives me a massage and blows me to completion, I think wow… This chick must really love me. She really wants to make me happy! 😀 When she makes me happy, I want to return the favor.
And it doesn’t just have to be hard core sex. The little things count too. I like when I’m walking down the street and my girl holds onto my arm. That makes me feel good.
I like when I go to a restaurant and my girl grabs my glass and pours my beer for me. It makes me think damn, that’s a good woman right there. I need to keep her around for a while.
Figuring Out Women
Women often receive love in the exact opposite ways as us men. For example, I doubt my girl wants me to go over her house, immediately drop to my knees and eat her pussy, then clean her bathroom. I’m sure she would think it’s ok… But she has other priorities.
Most girls I date want to spend a lot of time together. Even if it’s not quality time, they just want to be around me. Sometimes I’ll be working and my girl will sit next to me on the couch and play games on her phone. I find this distracting and I prefer being alone when I’m working.
But if I try to kick her out she throws a fit. I tell her she will be bored if she stays but no, she doesn’t want to leave. She just wants to be around me. Sometimes it’s annoying but hey, it’s what makes her happy so I put up with it sometimes.
To put it into perspective, me kicking her out of my room is the equivalent of her telling me “no sex tonight.” It’s a slap in the face.
Another big one is gift giving. We talk a lot about gold diggers in Asia on the forum. Many girls want to bleed you dry and you do need to be careful.
That said, not all these broads are out to get you. A lot of girls just enjoy receiving small thoughtful gifts. You don’t have to buy her a new iPhone or a motorbike. But if you see a pair of shoes she might like, or a dress, or some flowers, why not surprise her? She would be very happy to receive those gifts.
If you’re dating a girl who is dirt poor and working her ass off every day, she has very little money to buy these things for herself. Shoes or a dress here is dirt cheap. If she makes time to come see you and fuck your brains out several times a week, I don’t see anything wrong with showing your appreciation by giving her a gift.
She would think, wow he really loves me. He wants to take good care of me. So I will take good care of him! It’s an even exchange. To many women, these small gestures are far more important than good sex.
Me personally, I don’t want women to buy me shit. I have my own money. And I enjoy my alone time so spending “quality time” with a woman is not high on my list of priorities… But if these are the things that make my woman happy then it’s what I will do. We all want different things so if she plays her part, I will try to play mine.
I think reading this book will improve your love life. Check it out. Click here to download on Amazon.
Another day in paradise…